Thriller 101
A podcast for readers and writers of thriller, mystery, suspense, and crime fiction.
Thriller 101
Literary Agent Amy Nielsen on How to Write a Query Letter that Gets Attention
Learn more about the Storyteller's Society
Having reviewed thousands queries in the past two years, literary agent Amy Nielsen shares exclusive writing tips specifically tailored for thriller writers on the traditional publishing route.
This agent interview with Amy dives deep into query structure, comp titles, and how to craft a pitch that perfectly matches your opening pages.
Whether you're writing thriller, mystery, suspense, or crime fiction, Amy's professional insights will help you avoid common pitfalls and significantly improve your chances of catching an agent's attention with your query.
Learn how to write query letters that stand out from the slush pile with practical advice from one of the industry's most approachable literary agents.
- The exact structure of a winning query letter, including where to place metadata, how to craft a personal introduction, and how to keep your word count tight at 300-350 words
- Why comparative titles are crucial to query success, with a real-life example of how changing just one comp title led to representation and publication offers
- How to ensure your query pitch accurately reflects your opening pages (especially if you have a prologue), and why this alignment is essential for thriller writers working with agents
Bio:
Amy Nielsen spent nearly 20 years as a youth librarian. Daily immersion in story took root and she penned her YA debut WORTH IT behind her circulation desk. In addition to being an author, Amy is an editorial literary agent at The Purcell Agency. She is also a freelance editor and runs Mayflower Media where she helps authors make book trailers and other video marketing materials.
the only job of the query is to get the agent to read your pages. And the query is basically the resume for your book. It's not the jacket copy. It's, it's, again, just those few things. Who's the main character? What do they want? What's standing in the way? What's at stake if they don't get it? That's what we need to know. And that's it.
David Gwyn:Hey everyone, and welcome to another episode of Thriller 1 0 1. Today I'm excited to bring you a conversation with literary agent Amy Nielsen. I. This is gonna serve as just part one of a multi-part series that we're gonna do with Amy here, where she's gonna share important insights into the querying process. Amy joined us about a year ago, and she's back with some really crucial insights about queries and opening pages. If you're in the querying trenches or getting ready to submit your manuscript to agents, this episode is absolutely essential. I'm David, a writer navigating the world of traditional publishing. During the second season of the Thriller 1 0 1 podcast, we're gonna continue our focus on building the skills necessary to write the kinds of thrillers that land you and agent and readers during the season, I'll be sharing some of my own insights while also talking to agents, authors, and other publishing professionals about the best way to write a novel. If you want the Expert Secrets, thriller 1 0 1 is where you're gonna find them. Amy has read thousands of queries in the past two years, giving her a unique perspective on what works and what doesn't. When it comes to first impressions, she's currently focusing specifically on signing a thriller writer. So her advice is particularly relevant because maybe you could be her next client. Last time on the podcast I shared insights into the Thriller 1 0 1 community. I've started the process of onboarding cohort two members. We're closing at the end of February, so depending on when you listen to this, it could be too late. Head down into the description and sign up right away if you're interested and I'll get you more information or you can check out the episode. Also link to the description if you wanna just learn more about the Storyteller Society at the time of this recording. We only have three spots left. Um, not sure how many will be here by the time you're listening to this, but if you wanna write your best book ever with a flexible learning environment that provides you with exactly what you need to write your story, then check it out. It might be your kind of thing, and it might be exactly what you're looking for. Okay, let's get into the conversation with Amy. She's gonna break down what should be in your query letter, including how to structure the perfect introduction that feels personal, uh, where to share your metadata, things like title, word count, genre, and comps, why comp titles are so crucial, and how one comp change actually led to her own publishing success. How to craft a pitch that actually matches your opening pages. Some common pitfalls that might confuse agents when they're reading batches of queries. And more. Again, this is just part one of a multi-part series, so if you haven't subscribed to the Thriller 1 0 1 Podcast, be sure to do that so you get notified for part two. Okay, let's dive into this conversation with Amy Nielsen about queries and opening pages. Amy, thanks so much for being part of the Thriller 101 interview series here. We are so lucky to have you.
Amy Nielsen:you. I was looking up the last time that you and I chatted on the podcast and it was December of 2023. So it's been just about a year.
David Gwyn:Nice. That's awesome. And it's always, it's always great to chat with you. We gotten to work together a little bit through the Storyteller Society, and you, you took pitches from, from the writers there, which was great. They, they really loved chatting with you and, you know, you did a little bit of a, of a agent pitch intro there for the, for the group two, which they found really, really helpful. A lot of them referenced your suggestions when they were planning to pitch, which was really cool. So thank you for being so you know, giving with your time.
Amy Nielsen:well, absolutely. And their pitches were amazing. Like they did such a good job. So I don't know if they were sharing them back and forth with each other and getting feedback, but they were excellent. Absolutely excellent. Some of the best pitches that I've ever seen. And I'm in a group of other agents and that was a common thread because several of us. We're taking pitches and we're all like, these are some of the best pitches we've ever heard. So whatever you're doing over there with your authors, it's really showing.
David Gwyn:Okay. Great. No, I, I really appreciate that. They were working really hard. It's funny. They were actually, while you guys were taking pitches, the ones who weren't pitching, we're all in a room together and they were practicing their pitches still in the zoom room while they were waiting to go. So they were, they were definitely. prepared, you know, they worked hard on their preparation, so I'm glad that it, that it showed and it came through in their pitches. That's really cool.
Amy Nielsen:Well, that's excellent. And I always say, you know, writing is a solitary art, but publishing is a community effort. So it really is. And if anyone's been interested or thinking about joining a community, I highly recommend the Storyteller Society.
David Gwyn:We're going to talk about some really, really important stuff today. We were talking before we got started, you were like you know, it's like, it's kind of a lot of information here and, and I think it's worthwhile for people to, to hear and people need to hear it. And so I want to really get right into it here and, and let you, let you go with some of this stuff. But I do want to just preface it a little bit for people just so they have some context here. You've read something like 3, 000 queries in the past two years. Am I getting that number right?
Amy Nielsen:close.
David Gwyn:That's insane. And so these are, these are some trends that we're going to talk about some trends that you've noticed. But before we get into that, I just want people to share. I know you kind of open and close periodically depending on, on, you know, your, your query list and what's, what's there and everything, but. Just whenever people are hearing this, if you are open, what are some of the genres you're looking for?
Amy Nielsen:Well, right now I'm strictly seeking thrillers,
David Gwyn:There you go.
Amy Nielsen:so I'm sure your audience will love to hear that, and I do. just closed on Sunday, but I believe I'll be opening back up within a month. Because I was very specific in my wish list. So it was a narrow group of, I'm looking for domestic, suspense, and psychological, specifically right now. So if you're writing in those, those Subgenres of thrillers. Follow me to find out when I'll be opening back up because I do think I will be. And I do have some great submissions. I haven't started combing through them voraciously yet. I've read most of the queries because I've got a few other things on my plate right now, but I'm very excited to dig in. Thriller is definitely one of my favorite genres, which is why Joy hanging out with you.
David Gwyn:Yeah. No, that's great. and I'm sure everyone, everyone right now is fiercely Googling you to see if you're open. So so that's cool. So but if you are, I I've I'll link to some ways that you can get in touch with Amy, in the description. So if you're If you're one of those people who are like, Oh, that fits what I, what I'm writing. Definitely pop down into there when this is over, but first, before you do that, way before you do that. You got to make sure that your, your query and everything that you're submitting is up to par and that's really what we're going to talk about today. So I want to get into these. Do you have a place you'd like to start?
Amy Nielsen:Yes. Well, first off, I would like to tell all authors that if you are listening to this podcast, you are already ahead of the game because it shows that you're researching, you're doing the work. And so I just wanted to start by complimenting all listeners. Because you are already, you know, close to, to, to that finish line by doing the research and doing the work and putting in the work and so I just wanted to start with that before we dive into some of the things that may not be as positive because they're not negative but I just hope that what I share with you will help you get across that publishing line faster And
David Gwyn:And I will share really quickly before you get into that. I, we've done a couple sessions together. We've chatted before and you always provide like the best information. You're always giving the kind of like peek behind the curtain, which all writers are looking for. So. We are in for a real treat. So if you are, if you are listening to this right now like Amy said, you're doing the work and, and, you know, get ready to take notes. Cause I think this is going to be a good
Amy Nielsen:Well, thank you. So note that this is subjective information. Not all agents or editors will have the same feedback, and many of the things that I'm going to tell you about today, you're going to find in books, in shelves, in libraries, and in bookstores, and probably in your own home. So, you know, take what I'm saying and use what resonates with you, is basically what resonates with your story. So I want to start kind of by talking about the query letter itself, because that is the first thing. document of your writing that the agent is going to read. So it's the first opportunity that you get a chance to show what your book is about. And so I, I, there's some things I've been seeing in queries that I think just a couple little tips and you can kind of make sure that you close any loopholes that your query might be missing. So first off is the word count. Agents read queries and batches 10, 20 at a time, and oftentimes this is at the end of our workday, late at night, so you really want to keep that word count tight. I'm talking like 3 to 350 words. If you're doing a lot of world building, obviously it's going to be a little bit longer, but really kind of keep that super, super tight. Now I'm going to break down kind of the sections of the query. So the first unofficial section of the query is basically the introduction, and that's kind of where I like to feel that it's friendly and personal that I'm not just opening up something that's been copied and pasted, you know, and it doesn't have to be extensive. It can literally be, I heard you on David Gwynn's podcast. You're interested in domestic thrillers. I think what I have fits your wish list. That's it. You know, that's friendly. That shows the agent that You know, my interest will immediately be peaked because that would be absolutely true and I'm going to be excited to read that query. And so the second part that I like to see next is the metadata and that's the title in all caps, word count, age range, genre, comps, and I also like authors to put in a unique structure here. So like if it's told through epistolary, which is like letters and stuff, or if it's dual timeline, because that's going to let me know, is that something that a structure that I feel comfortable with, you know, repping. Am I the best agent for that? So I think that's important to put that unique structure. Now, what I'm seeing in some queries is this information kind of spread throughout the query. Maybe the comps are at the top, or the, you know, maybe most of it's at the top, but the comps are at the bottom. And, This information can vary agent to agent, but I think it's never wrong to put that up front. You know that lets me know, too, if the word count immediately is within the range that I feel comfortable taking on. You know, if I'm looking for novels under 90, 000 and your work, you know, your novel's 140, I can give you a pass much quicker, so you're not waiting. So I think putting all that information right there is really important. I am seeing some missing comps in queries and this is problematic for I think firstly, if I'm going to sign an author, I have to have comps myself before I send that to editors. So you want to kind of make that work a little easier, you know, on the agent. It also lets me know, like, is there a market right now for your book? Because those comps should be like within the three to four year range. And I I really think that's one of the most important parts of your, of your query letter is your comps. And it's not, it's not easy to find them. It does take a lot of work. And, and it doesn't have to be an exact comp. I mean, you can comp something for the setting. You can comp something for the main character. You can comp something for a lot of different things. But you do want to make sure that, Yeah. You know, you have two or three, at least one or two of them are books, you know, a lot of people comp movies, and that's fine, but you're, you're pitching a book, so I think that as far as comps go, that's really, really important, and true story, and I've told this story many times. I was in the query trenches for a year and then I changed one of my comps to something that was more accurate, really, and more well known, not super well known, but fit much better than the comp I had. And within one month of swapping that one comp, I got an offer of representation by an agent, an R& R by a publisher, and an offer to publish by a publisher. And I attribute that to swapping that one comp, so it's just so important.
David Gwyn:I want to just touch on one thing and then ask a question, that I think people are, are, are questioning because I am too. First is I think, I love the way that you put that, that structure, especially the opening and having all that information at the top. that that is never wrong to have at first. And I think that is such a good way of putting it because some agents preferred in different places, but if it's at the top, that is like, no, no agent's going to be like, Oh, you put it at the top, like no auto automatic pass, you know? And I think that's a good way of putting it. I think authors a lot of times think That there's going to be so much that gets in the way of an agent saying yes. And, and I've said this to the writers that we work with a lot. I say, look, like if you are, if you are using a structure that is commonly known as like the structure and he's for a query, every agent, they may be like, Oh, that's not my preference, but they're not going to. think that this is, this is crazy, you know, but if you're putting out there, like you're saying this kind of opening line with all the information right at top, that is what most agents prefer. And for all the reasons that you said, and I think that's a great way of putting it. And then my other question is, is about comps. So I've seen a lot more frequently now, and I'm wondering if this is a trend that you're seeing as well. People using comps. for they're using like popular movies as a way to comp their book. And so they're saying, cause I know like, you know, when you're using your comps, you don't necessarily want to do popular, super popular books. You don't want to comp it to a bestseller per se, but you can get away sometimes with comping it to, or like an older movie. I know people have done movies or TV shows from, you know, the past that where they're kind of saying it feels like this. Do you like that as an agent or how do you feel or how do you navigate that when you see that in a
Amy Nielsen:Oh, I don't mind at all. I think that's one way to really give a visual you know, image. Even in my own query, I comp to the setting of Ozark even though it takes place in Florida, but I explained why that was more of a, of a setting. So yeah, absolutely. Like I say, as long as you, you know, Most of your comps are books. It is perfectly okay to use a TV show or a movie. I don't mind that at all. Just, and then it can be older, but you just want to make sure that your comps for books are what's, you know, out there right now being read. And the other thing that I'm seeing sometimes in that metadata paragraph is Missing age range, or missing genre, or too many genres. So let me break that down a little bit. YA is an age range, middle grade is an age range. So those are age ranges. So if you put YA, I still need to know the genre that you're submitting to me. And again, having all that up front, like we said, David is never wrong. That's not going to be the reason an agent passes or doesn't pass on you, absolutely. But what we don't know what we're about to read with your pitch. So to have our mindset framed correctly before we dive into something that we have no idea what we're going to dive into, I think it's just really, really, really helpful. And as far as like genres, yes, there's genre blending that works well. Obviously, romanticy is the hottest thing right now. But all my daughters read is romanticy. But I have had queries come to me that have like four different genres in it. And I'm like, wait a minute, I What? You know, what is this thing? And so you can, like, say you're submitting a domestic thriller that has a romantic subplot. That's totally fine because you're gonna have elements of other genre within the story. whatever you're writing. That's just the reality of it. I need to have a clear picture of exactly what it is you're pitching me, so I know who I'm going to, what editor I'm going to send that to. And I know that the reader is going to have the proper expectations, too. So if we say it's a domestic thriller and it's reading more like a romance, well, our thriller authors, right, our thriller readers are going to be like, wait a minute, that's not, What I signed up for, you know, so that helps with proper, proper pitching, I think. And then the pitch itself, like the middle part of your query, some of the things to look out for is a lot of times authors use universal themes in their pitch. And yes, we want your book to have universal themes. That's what's going to give it a universal audience. And, but those themes don't need to be stated in your query because that doesn't tell me anything about. Your main character. And, and so kind of in, in the query, what I'm looking for and what most agents are looking for to find out about your book is We want to know who the main character is, we want to know what do they want, and we want to know what's standing in the way of them getting it, and we want to know what's at stake if they don't get it. That's pretty much it. That's your pitch. If you're looking for a formulaic pitch, that is it. Now, you may need to add a little bit of setting in there too, obviously. And if you have more than one main character, you may need to do that twice, but we don't need all the side characters mentioned. We could say the best friend, the father, whatever, you know, keep it on just those main characters, but, but that's really, it can be super, super, super succinct. And the last thing about queries that I'll mention, and then we can move on and chat about queries if we have, if you have some other questions, is I've seen this happen a couple times, and I wanted to alert authors to this. It happens to me too, and that's when the query doesn't feel like it's the query for the submission, for the pages that I have. So, for example my own story originally. My young adult novels started with a prologue of when the, the, the teenager, the main character, was a child, and so I got feedback from an agent, because I didn't have that in my query, I got feedback from an agent, because that was like the first seven pages, they're like, this didn't read, Like the pitch. So I was confused. And so I've seen that in a couple of manuscripts that start with a long prologue, and I'm not saying don't write a prologue. If your book needs a prologue, write a prologue, but make sure if it's completely different than what your first chapter reads like, you might need to write a prologue. consider, consider revising your pitch. And I have a crazy example that I came up with. This is not a real book and it probably shouldn't be, but I wanted to kind of illustrate what I'm talking about. So let's say your book starts with a prologue of a dragon slayer slaying a dragon. And this is epic battle of this dragon being slayed. And then chapter one, this dragon slayer has left slaying dragons and now, you know, at home living a quiet life. And so if your pitch is something like this, and I literally wrote this in like five seconds, so pardon me, but hopefully illustrates what I'm trying to illustrate. if you're, yeah, if you're pitching your query is something like, Claudia is perfectly content living the quiet American life, but when she's forced back into the life she wanted out of to save those she loved, she must choose. to save her family and face her biggest fears, or uproot her family to protect them. So there's nothing in there about a dragon, and it's not very specific either. But if I read that, I'm like, well, I don't know, there's a lot of themes and biggest fears, it's not specific. And then I open up the pages and there's this dragon battle, I'm like, and it's happened several times, so I kind of revised the pitch and made it a little more specific to what this character's doing and inserted something that you would know if you get to a prologue and there's dragons, they should be there. You're not reading the wrong book, so I said, okay. Clawdee retires her sword and swaps slaying dragons with taking her kids to soccer practice and birthday parties. But when a letter from the Dragon Slayers Society shows up at her door, threatening to expose her if she doesn't return, she's forced to choose. Risk her family being hunted by the dragons families she's killed, or join forces again with the Slayers, offending her family, and pick up a sword once again. So, I mean, I would revise that, revise that, revise that if I was pitching this manuscript. But just to kind of let you know, now the pitch, I know clearly I'm going to be reading about dragons, but that this woman left this to have a quiet life, not involving killing dragons, because it's dangerous for her family. So that's kind of, you know, read your pitch. And if you, again, make sure it matches those opening pages that there's a remnant there, especially if you have a prologue, because a lot of times prologues read very differently than the chapter one. So I just wanted to kind of, you know, put everyone that has a lengthy prologue and alert there to kind of make sure it's there because I've been confused a few times. And the last thing you want is to confuse an agent.
David Gwyn:Yeah, no, I think that's spot on. And I love this because I talk to thriller writers a lot, obviously, and one of the things I've noticed in the genre is I know that there's a lot of people who are against prologues and rightfully so. I mean, if it's not, if it's not doing work, then it shouldn't be there. But thrillers are one of those genres where we see prologues a lot, and I think it's because it has a lot to, I think you see it a lot in horror too, because it sets a tone, like it's that first chapter that like sets the vibe, but then we go back and we meet the character kind of in their normal day to day life, and sometimes if you don't have a prologue, It can, you know, you can see why thrillers are a popular genre. And so I've talked to thriller writers a lot about this, and I'm so curious about this. So let me ask you this question. It's like hypothetical here. If you're, if you're somebody who let's say, for example, your query letter, you know, your main story is about this one character. and your prologue is an opening line of like the killer killing somebody, right? That's like that scene. Would you suggest writing the query letter still about that character and then cutting the prologue and just starting with chapter one when you send it to an agent? Or would you suggest mentioning that like the story starts with a murder and then you meet the character, you know, within the confines of the query and still using that prologue? Am I making sense? Okay.
Amy Nielsen:You are making perfect sense. And my suggestion would be if you wrote the prologue, then you think it matters. And so, but I would make sure that, I mean, if it's a thriller, we know there's murder, then you don't really need to reference it and you don't need to reframe your pitch because it's going to be obvious it's still the same book. My point is when your pitch doesn't match, This the first pages and so we I need to know that when I'm reading the right manuscript and so like I say if this woman slaying dragons in the prologue and it's 10 pages long. And I've just read about her living the quiet, a quiet life. I'm like, wait a minute. Am I reading the same book? So just make sure that when you read your pitch that it matches the submission pages. Whether that's the first five or the first ten that the, that the agent is going to know they're reading the correct manuscript. And I'm not a hater of prologues at all. I took mine out when I, after I got that review that the pitch didn't really match the the prologue. And then editor made me put it back once I got, once I signed the deal. So, you know, because It because she, she didn't even know I had written a prologue. So that's someone that has a good eye, you know, she could tell that something was missing. But yeah, so.
David Gwyn:No, that makes a lot of sense. And when I talk to people who are out querying and writing a lot, I think that the biggest thing, and one of the things that you said too is, well, we're really two things that stuck out to me that we haven't really touched on, which is one, like that you're reading sometimes batches of 10 and 20. And so like, if you're confusing an agent in your query and you're not being specific, losing them completely. Like it, that's so hard. I can't imagine. I sometimes sit down to read one query letter, like give feedback. And I'm like, man, can I, I can't imagine having an an inbox of 200.
Amy Nielsen:Yeah. Well, and we're not just reading queries. And, you know, we're also editing. I do a lot of editorial work with my clients, I just sent out, I'm about to send out an editorial letter today. And I read through those, like, three or four times before I send them to my authors, just because I want to make sure it has the right amount of, I love this. And can we work on that? And so a lot of times I'll go through first and I'll say, these are the things we need to fix. And then I go back and find all those beautiful lines that they wrote, because I, that's important too. And then we're also searching for editors. So the reading queries is such a, it seems like it's the largest part, but it's really a smaller part. And if you do lose. Then, like I say, if that's, if it's confusing if that pitch is that manuscript, it may be that manuscript doesn't get read because that wasn't the promise of the premise. That wasn't the promise of the pitch. So, and if that pitch got me excited to read your pages, I'm going to want to see that I'm, that it's, that what you promised to me is there. So I think that, I've seen that a few times, and it has been, and one author did ask me, he said should I have sent you my chapter one instead? I'm like, no, revise this pitch so it matches, so I can see it reflected in that, in that prologue. Yeah, so that's pretty much what I have. Oh, and then of course, obviously, your biography comes at the end. I caution you to make your biography longer than your pitch. We want to know if you have any publishing credits. We want to know if you want to share your day job. If you don't have any publishing credits, that's fine. If you're a part of any writing organizations, but I have seen a few queries that, you know, the bio is larger than everything else. And so the, the longest part of your query should be, should be that pitch in the middle and still pitch. Pretty short, you know, I usually say like around around 50 ish words for the metadata, like 150 to 200 for the pitch, and then about 50 ish for the bio. And that will hit you within a pretty good word count for that query.
David Gwyn:Yeah. Let me ask you about this because I, I have this theory that I, I would love to either your opinion on if I'm, if I'm right, or if I'm wrong here, I, I think a lot of people think about the query as the blurb on the back of the book or on the inside jacket. And I, I actually think that while that's like probably 90 percent true or 75 percent true, it actually, me. isn't the same as the blurb on the inside of the cover. That you're, it's doing different work. Like, I think grabbing a reader's attention who's in, look, in a bookstore or like reading online is fundamentally different than grabbing an agent's attention, even though those two things seem so similar. And I challenge people all the time when they're talking about their pitch. They're like, well, how do I shorten it to, how do I shorten it to down to this? And I'm like, you got to remember that you're not trying to get an agent. To buy your book. You're just getting an agent to open up the attachment that has your, your, your next, your opening
Amy Nielsen:Absolutely. The only job of the query is to get the agent to read your pages. And the query is basically the resume for your book. It's not the jacket copy. It's, it's, again, just those few things. Who's the main character? What do they want? What's standing in the way? What's at stake if they don't get it? That's what we need to know. And that's it. And that's different than catching a reader's attention, of course. But yeah, so, so that's pretty much the query.
David Gwyn:That wraps up part one of my conversation with literary agent Amy Nielsen about crafting effective queries and opening pages. I really hope you found her insights as valuable as I did. Be sure to subscribe to get notified when part two drops. Remember, your query letter is essentially the resume for your book. It's only job is to get the agent to open your pages, keep it concise at around 300, 350 words, which is what Amy suggests. Make sure your metadata is clear and upfront and ensure your pitch actually matches what an agent will find in your opening pages. If you are writing thrillers, be sure to follow Amy to find out when she'll be reopening for submissions. You could find links to connect with her in the description. Okay. Thanks for hanging out with me on Thriller 1 0 1. If you're enjoying the podcast, please consider leaving a review wherever you listen to podcasts. It means a lot. I read everyone and I'm always excited when I get a new one. So I'll catch you on the next episode where we will continue unlocking the secrets to writing compelling thrillers that get you traditionally published. I'll see you next time.